we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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