I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize