Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is

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(304): View more from West Virginia

She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments

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(804): View more from Virginia

At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.

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(954): View more from Florida

The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that

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(716): View more from New York

He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.

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(305): View more from Florida

I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb

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