I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
