The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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