nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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