I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
