I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
