last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just pee around me
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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