I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
