Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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