Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
