We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
