You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He called his prostate his "boner button".
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
