You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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