Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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