none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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