i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
