You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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