tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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