see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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