i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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