Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
