..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
