they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
