i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
