she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
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