She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize