So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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