nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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