8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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