I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
