Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize