Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
