I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize