forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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