Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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