Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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