I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
