I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The cops high fived after they tackled you
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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