Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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