YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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