I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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