Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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