plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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