Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just found a bag of teeth...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
