I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Terrible idea I love it
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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