Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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