i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
