My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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