He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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