Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
