You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
