i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
