just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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