Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
