And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
