i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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